Good working day

... although it was actually a local holiday. Funny?

Woke up slowly, without and alarm clock, did some streching, had breakfast, switched on the computer and started working at home. I went out for lunch (I was lazy and wanted to save a bit of time), back I had a tea and then I resumed. I finally stopped around 7pm, prepared a nice dinner, had it, wrote for a while, washed up the dishes (I hardly ever do that during the week lately; well, I hardly ever cook), and here I am, 10:30pm, the remaining of the evening is just leisure! -the same amount of leisure I get in a normal working day. Huge difference: today I'm feeling good, don't have the usual contradiction, on the one hand craving to go to bed, on the other rather doing something nice before the day is over (e.g. writing).

I've remembered those days I was a convinced nadaist... if I could at least work somewhat less. Probably I won't be able to do many more things, I would be still frustrated I don't have enough time, but I would feel better, not so tired all around. (In the weekends, when I have all the time in the day at my disposal, I also feel frustrated, but I get some of the stuff done and it's alright.)


Last Saturday I was complaining to a friend precisely about the long working hours. He warned me to be careful, my ideas being irresponsible (he's possibly right on that); he told me about many people no as lucky as me by far. He put the example of the inmigrants. I said he could have chosen something worse: children in South East Asia working 16 hours a day in a garbage dump.

You can always find somebody doing much worse. One uses that argument and immediatelly stops complaining. What else to do? Not much. Doing anything to improve the situation for those doing so bad? No, that would be too difficult, unrealistic. Doing anything to improve your own situation? Well, no, you just said it, you've stopped complaining. The conversation is over.


It would be ok, if it was actually over, if the fact that lots of people are doing worse really convinced me deeply inside. It doesn't. If it was the case, I would probably had understood what's the meaning of life, I would be happy forever; what else, if there's no reason to complain? Sudden enlightenment.

There's rational arguments (no reason to complain) and there's all the rest in your mind (and the complains amongst it). There's people telling you what to do, criticising you, there's your stomach and your needs, and there's employers, and finally there's good working days, not very often, only sometimes.