To differentiate

When people make generalizations they base themselves on their personal experiences, (which are necessarily limited, i.e. relatively limited), and besides on their values and believes, opinions, on the way they feel. If you ask them about the differences between both sexes, for example...

Some would use their religious background, which can be so varied depending on the religion itself, but essentially refer to procreation: that's for them the key to define the roles of men and women. I dare to say, with all due respect, it's a limited view.


Then there's science. Some might point out human beings are mammals at the end, which means they have a defined strategy for reproduction: females have just a few chances to have babies, they carry them for months on their bellies and the new-borns are weak and must be taken care of for years; in consequence, they select very carefully the men who will be faithful and stay with them throughout the process. Besides there's genetics, which means that males are supposed to spread their sperm as much as they can, while females have somehow to detect which males are healthier and more capable so that they can cross with them, giving more chances to their offspring. And that's a limited view, I dare to say.

Science would also study physiological differences between men and women, and will test some parameters of intelligence to that they make clear there are some various tasks which are done better by either one or another; e.g. men more capable when reading a map or in arithmetics, women better in geometry. So what?, I'd humbly ask.


There's even some half mystic standpoints, so that men and women would be different and complementary, and that's why their union makes so much sense. Polarity and attraction, the parts and the whole, etc. Well... to me, that's like any other believe.


Just look up the dictionary: to differentiate means to percieve there's a difference, but also to establish it, to make it different.

The obvious differences

Body shapes. Some internal organs. Hormones. "Those days of the month". And only women get pregnant. There are some phisological differences everybody could agree with.

There's cultural differences: men and women are not educated the same way, i.e. they are repressed in different ways. For instance, men should not cry, women should always look beautiful.

There's the common vague understanding that men are somewhat more rational, (in their behaviour and decisions), while women are somehow more connected to their emotions, (i.e. women manage their emotions in a better way, and use them).

And there's the mysterious way in which women know exactly how much more they feel like eating or drinking, and in consecuense at the end of the meal they just sip your glass or cut a portion of a precise weight from your plate - it's exactly the piece they miss.


Those above are the differences I will accept. For the rest, I'll try to prove that men and women think the same way.

Reading your partner's mind

Sometimes your partner expects you to know what he or she wants, other times he/she would like you to do or to propose or just to say something in particular, which shouldn't be so difficult for you to guess (?), since you are together and know and love each other.

The female is supposed to be the one that expects the other to be an oracle, but I'd say this is a cliché; men are also very happy when they're given by surprise exactly what they wanted. Maybe males don't talk so openly about those dim expectations, maybe they disregard something so vague and emotional even if they feel it or wish it, since they believe it's nonsense or impractical. (According to the cliché, the reason would be that there's only the one thing in males' minds, and anything else is like an additional present they don't really deserve).


Anyway there's the situation, two people living together and one of them does not understand something about the other, but the other thinks the first has understood. Actually the 2nd expects the 1st to understand because it's so obvious, they've even talked about it before, and they love each other so much. Still, the 1st, very much in love, has no clue. Which is annoying for the 2nd. From that point (1st clueless and 2nd upset) onwards, it may only become worse; no solution possible, the 2nd could even try to explain it, again and again, but the 1st will not understand, (why should 1st?, is now a better moment?).


If 1st could read his/her partner's mind, (and a tiny bunch people claims there's means to do it), then 1st would know what 2nd is thinking. But then, 1st would also know absolutely everything about 2nd, every single corner of the mind of 2nd would be clear, the nasty details as well. Maybe if 1st would be able to see 2nd so completely and openly, 1st would not like 2nd so much anymore. Even worse, maybe 2nd has the same ability to read 1st's mind, and 1st is scared that 2nd gets into this magic view of 1st, and some time leater 2nd breaks up in anger.

Those minds with their reading powers would be scared of showing too much of themselves to each other, of finding aspects they don't like (or they could hate) about each other. The problem of not understanding each other will of course remain, but it would be like a secondary matter; maybe it was secondary since the beginning.


It's not that I mean anything by this post. How would I know?, me?, a long-lasting and proved bachelor!. My point is actually about control, how looking for control means missing the point, sometimes.

Waiting chaos

I got my room, finally; no excuses for the chaos anymore. I have the feeling that that I don't find the time for some stuff that I'd like to do, but probably it's because the day is not long enough.

I do my practice, I write, and I cook and I eat, and I rest, and unfortunately as I say I cannot spend much yet for anything else - I hope it will come. For example, I'd like to continue with the translation of the yoga sutras that I promised.

And I'm happy, even if the price for the rent is a small fortune, and whenever I go out I spend small amounts, and not so small sometimes. Money flies fast and I have no income but I cannot be bothered, I don't feel the vertigo, because I'm waiting. Waiting is magic.


I'm waiting for the brother of a friend who is a writer, (I mean somebody real who makes a living from writing); he is reading my novel and promised to give me some honest advice. I have no idea what is he going to do or to say. And I'm waiting for a friend who is going to start up an IT project and might have a part-time job for me, (although I believe it's unlikely he goes for it, and if he does I wouldnt say he will hire me).


Waiting gives you peace of mind, waiting gives you space in your mind because you don't need to worry about the future anymore, because the future will come at the end of your waiting. It does not matter what you are waiting for; if you are waiting you will make your whole mind available for focusing on your day.


Then I practise, I write, I cook, I eat, and I rest. And sometimes I go out. And sometimes I regret a little that still did not find time for some other stuff. It's perfect, I'm centered, I feel I could be waiting for nothing for ever, like this.

However all this is just different words to put the motto of this blog, of course, and the main problem remains: no contributions are going to come. If I could just believe they're on their way, I'd wait for ever.